When I think about all the goals and dreams I have in my life (re: bucket list, reading list, travel goals, etc.) I can't help but think about how fortunate I am to even be able to hope for these things. What if I had to wake up each day and spend every waking moment trying to eat, trying to survive? I would have no time to wish for travel, to fulfill personal goals, to try to become the person I want to be. There are many, many admirable people who overcome their living situations to fulfill their goals and dreams and to make a difference in the world. There are many more who can never do more than struggle to survive.
This makes me feel the need to spend more time just appreciating the life and opportunities that I have. It makes me want to make sure my luxurious extra time is not wasted and that I do become the best person I can be. I have the luxury of being able to spend time just on myself. I have health, security, support, love and so many other blessings that I am able to sit around pondering the meaning of life and what I wish to do with it. This just blows my mind sometimes...that I can even be so introspective and spend so much time on self fulfillment. I want to give back in some way and I'm hoping that one day I figure out just how to do this. I want to be able to take the luck and opportunity I have been given, just by virtue of where and to whom I was born, and give that to others who are not so fortunate. I also do not want to waste what I have been given because so many others would give so much for what I have.
At the same time, this makes me feel superficial about my own personal goals. Travelling around the world? What good does that do for anyone besides myself? At times I feel selfish and spoiled. If I ever have a bad day or feel upset with my life, I wonder what gives me the right to feel that way when I have so much. I guess the only thing I can do is try to help others along the way to fulfilling my own goals...hopefully I will figure out how to do this as I go along because it seems so vague as I think about it now. Are all those first world volunteers going out for two weeks to "help" a third world community really helping? Or are they just doing it to make themselves feel better? Where is the line between too privileged and making full use of your opportunities? What is selfish and what is just understanding you are fortunate and not letting this be taken for granted? I'm hoping to gain more insight on this this year.
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